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Erin Khar

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Erin Khar is the author of STRUNG OUT and writes the weekly Ask Erin advice column.

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Erin Khar

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I Never Thought Someone Would Ask Me This: Am I A Rapist?

February 16, 2018 Erin Khar
Artwork by Tess Emily Rodriguez

Artwork by Tess Emily Rodriguez

In the wake of the #MeToo movement, I have received countless emails and messages from people (mostly women) who wonder if what happened to them was rape or sexual assault. People are hurting, processing, looking to feel validated, after years and years of experiencing a loss of agency over their bodies and sexuality. 

This was the first question I'd received from a man who was questioning and agonizing over his past behavior. This man is not a monster. He could be any guy raised in a world that hasn't allowed for real talk about consent and boundaries and communication during sex. 

This question gave me hope. Because this kind of introspection is what will lead to real change in people. We need men to be a part of the conversation. 

You can read the question and my answer HERE. Please let me know what you think. Let's keep the conversation going. 

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