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Erin Khar

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Erin Khar is the author of STRUNG OUT and writes the weekly Ask Erin advice column.

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Erin Khar

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Ask Erin: My Family Doesn't Approve Of My Relationship

May 19, 2022 Erin Khar

Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

I’ve been with my significant other for almost ten years now…. Long story short, my family disapproves of him, and it is tremendous stress that I need to address. I’m just not sure how. I love my significant other and want it to work more than anything, but sometimes I am not 100% certain we are best for each other.

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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, relationship problems, relationship advice, family problems, family, toxic, boundaries, communication
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Ask Erin: I Love Hosting Family Gatherings, But I'm Tired Of Doing All The Work

May 12, 2022 Erin Khar

Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

Our frustration is that only one family will ask to bring a dish to help. Everyone else just shows up empty-handed for the picnic. This is for every get-together.

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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, advice, family problems, family, boundaries
2 Comments

Ask Erin: My Boyfriend Moved In & Now I Feel Like His Mom

May 5, 2022 Erin Khar

Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

I let my boyfriend of almost two years move in… It's been about a month… And I don't trust him. He lies about dumb things… I pay for all the groceries and pick up the house and do our laundry, etc. I feel more like his mother than his girlfriend.

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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, advice, toxic, relationship problems, relationships, boundaries
1 Comment

Ask Erin: Is My Relationship Salvageable?

March 17, 2022 Erin Khar

Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

My boyfriend said he’s questioning his sexuality… He’s broken up with me at this point… He still says he’s attracted to me and ultimately wants me in his life. He says he still sees a future, but we’re still broken up… Where do I go from here? Am I kidding myself into thinking it’s salvageable, or is my relationship DOA?”

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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, advice, relationship problems, relationship advice, relationships, coming out, sexuality, breakups, codependent
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Ask Erin: Should I Tell My Coworker That I Love Him

February 11, 2022 Erin Khar

Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

I’m in love with a man at work who does not know that I adore him. My dilemma is that I didn’t know that he had a fiancé until recently… Now, I am changing jobs by being transferred to work at another school. He says that he’s going to miss me. Should I tell him that I love him, even though there is a big possibility we will never see each other again?



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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, advice, crush, coworkers, confession

Ask Erin: Did I Cross A Line Of Consent With My Ex?

February 3, 2022 Erin Khar

Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

We need to have these conversations; nothing will change without them. So it is a good thing that I continue getting these emails. This means that people are much more aware of how they may be inadvertently crossing boundaries (and much more willing to confront it).



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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, advice, consent, rape, Sex, sex
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Ask Erin: I Need To Call Off My Wedding

January 27, 2022 Erin Khar

Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

I realized I’m not actually bisexual, as I thought I was. I’m a lesbian… I’m scared to cancel the wedding and tell my family and let his family down, but I’m also scared to live the rest of my life feeling as unfulfilled as I do now…. I don’t know how to call off a wedding and not be a terrible person for doing that.



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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, relationship advice, engagement, coming out, the truth
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Ask Erin: Did My Relationship End Because Of My Temper?

January 20, 2022 Erin Khar

*Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

“He kept me a secret… her clothes were still at his place… she was still texting him and telling him she loved him. Instead of ignoring her, he texted her back… In the end, I lost my temper… We have now split up, and he says it’s because of my rage AND my need always to be right… Was I right to leave this situation, or has he got a point?”



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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, advice, relationship advice, gaslighting, temper, rage, breakups, lies, emotional cheating
1 Comment

Ask Erin: This Will Be My First Sober Christmas And I'm Terrified

December 21, 2021 Erin Khar

Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

This will be my first sober Christmas, and I’m terrified… I have a lot of anxiety around seeing extended family more than my immediate family. I don’t want to have to explain myself or talk about it with them. I am just not ready. Also, my family is a big wine family, and I know it will be weird to be the only adult not imbibing.



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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, sobriety, recovery, alcohol, addiction recovery, holidays, family
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Ask Erin: I'm Telling The Truth But My Boyfriend Doesn't Believe Me

December 9, 2021 Erin Khar

Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

Things had been going well until he found out that I was stalked by an ex at one point in my two years of being single. I did answer his texts here and there to keep the stalking down. So this comes up in conversation, and he says I lied, and I still love my ex… I told him the truth, and he didn't want to believe me.

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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, relationship problems, relationship advice, stalking, toxic, emotional abuse, red flags
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Ask Erin: My Wife Blames Me For Her Brother's Death

December 1, 2021 Erin Khar

Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

My wife blames me for her brother’s death. After a decade of battling substance abuse, her brother died three weeks ago from overdose complications.

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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, advice, Grief, overdose, addiction
1 Comment

Ask Erin: How Do I Survive Thanksgiving With My Toxic Family?

November 23, 2021 Erin Khar

Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

I am dreading Thanksgiving... Basically, every family gathering involves diet talk between my mother and sisters.



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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, Thanksgiving, holidays, family, family problems, toxic parents, toxic, diet culture
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Ask Erin: I'm Having An Emotional Affair

November 17, 2021 Erin Khar

Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

There is a man I have been emotionally cheating with for a while now… Some days, we talk for hours at a time when we can and can send hundreds of messages within a matter of hours!



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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, advice, relationships, relationship problems, relationship advice, cheating, emotional cheating, emotional affair, affair, red flags
1 Comment

Ask Erin: My Boyfriend Wants A Threesome With His College Friend

November 11, 2021 Erin Khar

Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

I recently came out as bisexual, and since then, my boyfriend has been hinting at wanting me to have sex with a woman. We have spoken about threesomes as an idea for the future but never as an actual plan to do anything. This weekend, he got drunk and decided to tell me that he would like to include one of his friends from college in a threesome.

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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, advice, relationships, relationship problems, monogamy, open relationship, threesome
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Ask Erin: My Sister's Husband Cheated On Her With My Best Friend

November 4, 2021 Erin Khar

Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

She told me that they slept together, not once, not twice, but three times. I felt sick because she is my ride-or-die, but that’s my sister… Now, what do I do? Do I tell my sister? Do I tell my brother-in-law I know? Do I end a 25-year friendship?



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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, infidelity, cheating, sisters, the truth, friendship trouble
1 Comment

Ask Erin: Did I Just Get Ghosted?

October 28, 2021 Erin Khar

Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

I am SO ANGRY, mostly because he didn’t have to come over and tell me he’s falling in love with me. I told him from the beginning that I just wanted him to be honest with me. I am confused. Am I overreacting? Did I just get ghosted?



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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, relationships, relationship problems, ghosted, ghosting, dating
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Ask Erin: I Feel Helpless Because My Husband Doesn't Respect Me

October 20, 2021 Erin Khar

Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

My husband makes me feel like I can’t do anything right. From morning until evening, he criticizes me about something. It is really mentally putting a strain on me now.



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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, abuse, emotional abuse, toxic, relationship problems
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Ask Erin: I'm In Love With My Roommate's Wife

October 13, 2021 Erin Khar
Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

I fell for my roommate’s wife. She feels the same but is scared to leave him.



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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, infidelity, cheating, emotional cheating, roommate, relationships, red flags
1 Comment

Ask Erin: I Need Help Setting Boundaries With A Disabled Friend

October 6, 2021 Erin Khar
MAIN COPY talk.jpg

My friend could be described as awkward with sometimes rude behavior. She was recently unofficially diagnosed with a processing disorder which she has embraced. I want to support her by giving good feedback and would hate to ghost her in our friendship, but some of her behaviors have become overwhelming for me.

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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, boundaries, friendship, friendship trouble, disability, processing disorder, communication

Ask Erin: Am I Wasting My Life With A Married Man?

September 30, 2021 Erin Khar
*Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

*Artwork: Tess Emily Rodriguez

He tells me all the time that he wants to be with me "one day. ”I don't have the courage to ask him what this means. Part of me feels like I'm wasting my life. We have been together for almost two years now.

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In AskErin Tags Ask Erin, advice, relationships, affair, infidelity, sobriety
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